woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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