Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.