Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.