So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
