Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
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