There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
