I hate your face
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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