I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I need to sanitize my soul.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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