it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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