can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
