I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
