Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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