Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
