the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
