I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
