just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
