if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Sext me about skeletons
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
