Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
