you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
