Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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