I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Girls should come with a carfax report
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
