Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
