I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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