I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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