Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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