It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just gargled with NyQuil
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize