Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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