Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize