I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
