i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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