Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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