I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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