Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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