Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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