he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
