i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
