I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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