Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
