Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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