The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
