It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
