My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
