with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
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Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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