I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
