So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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