remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
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I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
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Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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