This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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