Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
