one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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