if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
