I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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