I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
