I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
