Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
