She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I enjoy the company of your penis
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize