I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
