the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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