Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
she was so not down for the gang bang
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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