wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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