omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
