wrigley field is MILF paradise
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
