what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
