so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
