she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
