youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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