wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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