im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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